This advertising critique is of the “Karate school” ad above.
First of all, nobody cares about the company name except the business owner, so that should NOT be the all-important headline of the ad.
Instead, the ad headline should attract as many qualified prospects as possible with an emotional benefit they want, like self-protection.
You could use a straight self-protection benefit headline or a fear-based headline like, “The moment you need to learn self-defense … it’s too late to start learning!”
After that, this ad is missing many of the “hot button” emotional benefits of why people sign up for Karate classes. I would add:
Protect yourself against robbery, rape, serious life-long injury
Gain more self-confidence
Enjoy a great workout and lose weight
Become better at focus and discipline
Gain flexibility, strength, balance
And since Karate is outside the norm for most people, they will naturally have some reservations about it. Therefore, I would suggest offering the first class or two for FREE to get as many interested people into the classes as possible.
Takeaway: The key to advertising that works is emotional customer benefits.
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